Relationships: Friends/Families/Partners

Relationships Friends/Families/Partners

In this post I am discussing relationships and bipolar. I think there isn't enough real concrete information that drives at the critical aspect of how bipolar individuals struggle with interpersonal relationships.


Since I have been in a ongoing work with my 'gift', there are enigmatic elements that haunt bipolar acceptance, along with functional discretion. Speaking from personal experience, the troubles and frustrations were often met with indifference, or a lack of understanding. I like to believe people have compassion, but in my travels this is something that is held differently from people I've met.

It affects you because there is a judgement. I cannot make this pretty, it is what it is. The key here is to mitigate as much of that negative distortion, and judgement as possible. I have been challenged on more than a few occasions, the thing I've learned to do is walk away.  Remember go in with an open heart, but be mindful, and listen.

In my background life was enduring chaos, dysfunction, and survivalism. This doesn't mean your situation will turn out like mine, the key thing here is to endure, weather, and be as patient as possible. I've survived with wit, and intuition. My social skills were elementary, as this would create very awkward situations. My interpersonal relationships weren't ever built on trust. Trust is a major component of relationships, that has to be a paramount construction to any situation, and this goes for mental disorders. Without it, one becomes a bitter, and cynical person hell bent on as much personal destruction.

Value the relationships that are meaningful, as there will be times that rough patches will be frequent, with bipolar especially, patience is crucial, and acceptance (very key here). If there is love, and respect, then one will be fine, otherwise, one has to build from nothing (like I did), and struggle with each step. Though I have built my current situation from nothing, and building on each successful endeavor or moment takes a lot of hard work, and immense inner strength.

One final thing I want to mention here, is with relationships, one cannot take things personal. Bipolar is often that ruse that enrages when a friend does not call back, or an appointment gets missed because of something, no matter, it is not meant to be taken personal. Don't. Situations happen, events take place, we can't control everything. Its a matter of just letting things be. Make a list of what peeves, and annoys, work on those components by letting go of preconceived ideas/notions. Thanks for reading.

B.

Cycles: Emotional Rollercoaster

Cycling: Emotional Rollercoaster


Cycling occurs because of randomness. The randomness which can be heightened by environmental  factors, behavioral constructs, and human conditioning. All of these lead into being reclusive, combative, argumentative, and often contradictory. With bipolar it is often very difficult to function in a cognitive manner. Typically within the hour,  one could be having thoughts about various systems, why things can't change, and then become weighted by the overwhelming emotional cascading, pity, apathy, anger, sadness, glumness, introspective, and projecting,

When cycling hits, everything is thrown into a chaotic permutation. Sleep patterns are wrecked, thoughts become broken clogs, and functioning (lets face it, just isn't happening). Cognitive awareness is often the first casualty with cycling. I call these events because they become broken bits of time pockets, blocked out by the emotional swing occurring. This leads into over elated sense of excitement, deep valleys of stress, major shifts of anger, tiny slivers of joy, and cascading waves of sadness that inculcate personal disposition.

As far as the thoughts portion, cycling can affect thoughts, for me they've bounced around like slippery ping pong balls, strewn every which way, or I would just hone in on one area and over analyze it to a point of ridiculousness. 

The key here with all of this is take one situation at a time. At first will seem kind of strange because undoing previous engrained behaviors takes time to unlearn. That its okay to take one moment as it arrives, rather than be overwhelmed with having to do fifteen things at once. We like to think we can do a lot of tasks at once, but truthfully details are going to get missed, and it makes sense to slow down.

The other key piece here is laugh. Bipolar is a very big thing, it can challenge the senses, reason, and inner belief. I have found that laughter, music, and animation are my go to healthy avenues when I am struggling. But, it takes constant work, and having an inner dialog that is trustworthy, and having the compassion to know that there will be good days, and not so good days. I've learned through my cycling that I embrace the challenges, but be extremely mindful of where they are going. I've used key tools in breaking patterns, and learned to accept what is rather than trying to change what I cannot. Thanks for reading.

B.

Incident To Incident: Remember How To Use Your Tools

Incident To Incident: Remember How To Use Your Tools
 
One of the most punishing elements of having Bipolar are the ongoing struggles one goes through. Its a matter of wit, tactility, planning, and an element of survival. For me I've had to ride out the situation going through the many kinds of distortions. Waves upon waves of interchangeable emotions, riding, cascading, while trying to maintain a consistent balance is a lot of work.

Through these waves one will have to endure many of the inclinations, thoughts, and emotions. What you feel is valid, what your experiencing is valid, and that absolutely no one can tell you that your wrong for having them. They are part of your growing, and overall acceptance. The key here is not to fight the disorder, but accept it for it it is, a pocket or life's little moment.

There have been days when so many thoughts rampage the mind, so focusing on any crucial or critical part can be an undertaking. But, I'm here to at least guide you through some of the challenges that will creep in.

Firstly, accept that this is the norm. There is nothing wrong with this statement. Its not the end of the world, and I have to say that this gives one a guiding aspect to clarity(somewhat). No matter the distortion, the key here is to separate from the situation. It takes some work, but having a detached aspect can help with the recovery, along with putting a very distant construction to the overall metaphor happening.

(example) Having gone through a rough patch with specific expectation, at the very core of functioning is directed in a manner that benefits one party. In my situation, I became upset over the boundaries that weren't established, and I was expected to make concessions to this fact. I respectfully declined to be part of the one sided discussion, and walked away.

Secondly, its okay to feel what you feel. I'm not validating the construction, or result of the situation, but ultimately, try to think of ways to ride through each single emotion in a manner that you can construct a positive foundation from. Through some inner speech, there is truth that you can arrive at in regards to what your feeling/thinking.

(example) With regards to the expectations, I realize that what I said had merit, that I was okay with feeling upset, but I chose to and utilized a skill with deflecting, and redirecting my energies toward something unrelated. I felt what I needed to, and then I chose to relax, and own my feeling. I am at a place where once I used the tool, I was confident with my execution.

Thirdly, and this is very important, that once a decision has been reached, commit to it, once you commit, that's it. Make it a motto that sticks, and work at it until it becomes second nature. Its a tool that I've found invaluable.

(example) There are times when a person feels slighted, that the first inclination is to get back at that person. With bipolar this so apparent, and no matter who has done what, it doesn't excuse the behavior in the first place. But, its ultimately how I chose to react to the situation, I chose to defuse, rather than completely rehash the same things over and over. Sometimes it does take a little time, but once I figured out what was happening, then I broke the knot binding me.

Each of these are simple tools, used in a calm, cool, collective manner. It shows how I've elicited self control over my emotional response to the situation, I own my behavior, and I've executed in a manner that is positive without being destructive. Thanks for reading.
B.