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| Two Points Artwork by Crazy Ferrero 1995 |
Now What: Diagnosed and what to do next
In this post I'm focusing on two crucial parts of bi polar. One is diagnose, two is living/managing with a disorder. I believe in setting clear cut boundaries that will guide a person through the Kübler-Ross model(Denial, Anger, Sadness, Depression, and Acceptance) stages. The key here is not getting despondent. With time, and grace life will return to normal. It will take copious amounts of patience, and gobs of inner strength. It will take a lot of hard work on a personal level to achieve some semblance of normality. In essence you must own your own disorder.
I will state though that for bi polar each person will be different, as ones current situation with recovery will be vastly different than say someone whom is more experienced with symptom management. Regardless, a disorder takes some inner patience, and quiet time to study each of the causes. For some its environmental, whereas it could be behavioral, poor impulse control, anything that can affect daily functioning.
Having a disorder isn't the end of everything, it just means taking more time to wade through, and internalize what is the right course of action. By no means would I condone having a loose attitude about symptom management, but taken with my own experiences, it helps to know what triggers the event that can put one in a wild slide.
The thing with having a new diagnose is that understanding the relationships of families, jobs, home life, and daily interaction are going to involve steep changes in accommodation. One will start the bargaining process:
"So now what?"
Its not the end. Just remember to breathe. Take stock in your development, life, and experiences. They are valid, and second guessing is counter productive. Its a hard reality once things start to settle, that things become vivid, and real. What your feeling is valid. For me I've learned to plan on each moment to moment. I don't make large plans, as I got into a habit of self sabotaging goals. Whatever system that you are accustomed to may need to have a slight revision. Be patient, it will happen.
"What steps do I take to manage"
Managing takes a level of practice, and extreme diligence. For me I've used two completely different models, the 12 step program, and Co-Dependency No More by Melody Beatty. I've done my fair share of reading about bi polar material, online, and book. Yet the two that work for my situation typifies where I am in my recovery.
"Is medication the right avenue?"
Is medication right? Well, that depends on the level of which one needs help functioning. For me, I've tried a great deal of medication, management on the other hand has been wrought with health complications. What I've done in the meantime is modified where and what I am dealing with. Medication is an option that I think can be explored in mitigating bi polar symptoms.
"Will my family be okay?"
If your family is still with you, then they accept you. Love, and acceptance are paramount with recovery. Just remember don't rehash issues, and past slights. The best thing to do is work in the now moment. Own the behavior, be humble, but don't condescend. Parents of bi polar kids today have a lot of information, and coping tools. When I was growing up, there is was very little information, and because of my own family's issues, they were not well equipped to deal with my rapid flucuations, and bizarre behavior. My mother especially, had her own distortions(highly suspected mental illness as well).
"Will I be okay?"
Yes. Yes you will be okay. Remember to breathe.
"Will this affect my job?"
If your like me, jobs are a very difficult beast to conquer. Some for me have languished in a place of indifference, and judgement based on my performance. I've come to this point in my life now that I don't particularly fit into corporate America's motto. I'm extremely unrefined, and I'm okay with that. Keeps things interesting. Maybe your situation is different, no matter there will be a sizable distinction to behavior modification.
"My life?"
Life is in the eye of the beholder, but here I think yes it has affected your life. The relationships, friendships, employment, all these foundations are still the same, the component here is the acceptance to the reality. This is a hard one to get through (at first). But it is not the end, but a beginning of a new chapter. So much can be learned by growing.
These are all genuine valid questions one will ask upon being diagnosed. These questions should elicit a profound sense of observation as to whats happening to the relationships one has with a disorder. Is the relationship healthy or destructive? Because having the diagnose certainly changes behaviors, and attitudes, especially for me because I had to make a concerted effort in modifying my situation, and being mindful of those I associated with.
Yet this doesn't preclude one to fall back into old patterns of self destruction, inner abuse, and myopic sense of ego gratification. Time and again I see and hear stories about individuals whom fall back into old patterns, and refuse to do the work. Its important to understand that in lieu of all the chaos, and distortion, there is a level of finding normalcy, but that is also contingent upon the needing to repair, and filter out distractions that are directly related to the chaos. For me environment plays a major role in that distortion, so I've had to relegate, and minimize those in which have directly influenced my condition.
