Medication IV: Test Subject

Medication IV: Test Subject

There I was in the fall of 1998 getting acclimated to a new agency. Fine tuning many of my more curious behavioral issues, and my mental state clamoring over finite issues. I would start out on Celexa, and then started taking Welbutrin in conjunction with Celexa.


When I started Celexa, I had numerous stomach problems. I was already having occasional kidney twinge pains from passing (3) kidney stones. Part of it stemmed from my Mountain Dew beverage intake (I thought), but once I started taking Celexa I had very bad stomach pains, and I taking many pit stops, a lot.

Then it was suggested that I take Welbutrin for sleeping and mood stabilization. Which at first was okay, but the Celexa medication was starting to wreck havoc on my sleep schedule. My relationship situation was very much weighted upon me trying to stay busy, where there wasn't whole lot going on. Which I think contributed to my problems integrating.

I took Celexa 25mg twice a day one in the morning and one at night. Welbutrin was 150mg once a day in the morning, which put me in sleep mode. I was smoking (at that time), so I was wondering if that contributed to my issues.

Then I took a break after 2002. I would pick up again with the medication option in 2005 because I was idling, getting back into that funk of sorts, as I could not pull myself through it. I was introduced to Geodon at 5mg which made me very lethargic, foggy, and grumpy. I then moved into Zypresidone for sleeping, as I got into another relationship, and I was night owl.

Then I got into Effexor XL 75mg (start) highest 175mg. At first seemed okay, but then I was having anxiety problems, I was stressed more, and I began to do damage to myself as I had no self control of my emotions. Due to a change living arrangements, this medication was promptly discontinued as per nurse practitioner.

Then came Lamictal 2mg. I was a full on rage mode. I couldn't sleep. I was very irritated. This medication lasted a week as it was wreaking havoc with people around me. I would promptly put the brakes on the medication for six months.

Once I started on my next journey, I was always busy. I couldn't really relax enough to find time to sleep. So I was given Seroquel 25mg for sleeping. At first worked great, but after awhile my head felt drippy. Nothing seemed to motivate me to pull out of the funk. I promptly stopped taking that after third month. I didn't like how I was feeling.

Then I moved into Benadryl. Three times a day, though it made me drowsy, I could at least function (somewhat). Though I would have the ups and downs with the cycling aspect, I was able to distance myself enough that I could maintain. I had to cut out the smoking, because this wasn't helping my cascading waves. On March 13th 2009, I quit smoking. So I literally was starting over with removing a ingrained addiction.

I've tempered my assessment to medication management. It is there to help, and keep some kind of balance. The key is finding the right combination. I'm still trying, but I'm wary and tired from the experiences.

I'm very private in my suffering and this kind of alludes a new kind of unease that I wasn't geared to accepting. Though I feel older, I feel robbed of a lot of great potential things, but I feel like punching the invisible wall for saying it. Frustrated isn't really going to solve what I feel somewhat.

I elected to do this on my own. To try and see if I could find my way through my tribulations. It has been difficult. In all of my attempts, something has yet to give me clarity, and guidance. I often wonder how long this will go on. As I'm not sure I can endure another tribulation of medication trials. Thanks for reading.

B.