Incident To Incident: Remember How To Use Your Tools

Incident To Incident: Remember How To Use Your Tools
 
One of the most punishing elements of having Bipolar are the ongoing struggles one goes through. Its a matter of wit, tactility, planning, and an element of survival. For me I've had to ride out the situation going through the many kinds of distortions. Waves upon waves of interchangeable emotions, riding, cascading, while trying to maintain a consistent balance is a lot of work.

Through these waves one will have to endure many of the inclinations, thoughts, and emotions. What you feel is valid, what your experiencing is valid, and that absolutely no one can tell you that your wrong for having them. They are part of your growing, and overall acceptance. The key here is not to fight the disorder, but accept it for it it is, a pocket or life's little moment.

There have been days when so many thoughts rampage the mind, so focusing on any crucial or critical part can be an undertaking. But, I'm here to at least guide you through some of the challenges that will creep in.

Firstly, accept that this is the norm. There is nothing wrong with this statement. Its not the end of the world, and I have to say that this gives one a guiding aspect to clarity(somewhat). No matter the distortion, the key here is to separate from the situation. It takes some work, but having a detached aspect can help with the recovery, along with putting a very distant construction to the overall metaphor happening.

(example) Having gone through a rough patch with specific expectation, at the very core of functioning is directed in a manner that benefits one party. In my situation, I became upset over the boundaries that weren't established, and I was expected to make concessions to this fact. I respectfully declined to be part of the one sided discussion, and walked away.

Secondly, its okay to feel what you feel. I'm not validating the construction, or result of the situation, but ultimately, try to think of ways to ride through each single emotion in a manner that you can construct a positive foundation from. Through some inner speech, there is truth that you can arrive at in regards to what your feeling/thinking.

(example) With regards to the expectations, I realize that what I said had merit, that I was okay with feeling upset, but I chose to and utilized a skill with deflecting, and redirecting my energies toward something unrelated. I felt what I needed to, and then I chose to relax, and own my feeling. I am at a place where once I used the tool, I was confident with my execution.

Thirdly, and this is very important, that once a decision has been reached, commit to it, once you commit, that's it. Make it a motto that sticks, and work at it until it becomes second nature. Its a tool that I've found invaluable.

(example) There are times when a person feels slighted, that the first inclination is to get back at that person. With bipolar this so apparent, and no matter who has done what, it doesn't excuse the behavior in the first place. But, its ultimately how I chose to react to the situation, I chose to defuse, rather than completely rehash the same things over and over. Sometimes it does take a little time, but once I figured out what was happening, then I broke the knot binding me.

Each of these are simple tools, used in a calm, cool, collective manner. It shows how I've elicited self control over my emotional response to the situation, I own my behavior, and I've executed in a manner that is positive without being destructive. Thanks for reading.
B.